Welcome to my blog! I like to capture inspiring and thought-provoking articles from the web about topics ranging from the food movement and permaculture, left-of-center politics, and inspiration to live a happy life. Please share your comments!
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Monday, November 12, 2012
The "Cheap Labor" Conservatives
Defeat the Right in Three Minutes
by Conceptual Guerilla
Original Post: http://sideshow.me.uk/annex/defeattherightin3minutes.htm
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Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Socialist Defined - from Ted McLaughlin
Is The United States A Socialist Nation ?
I thought with all of the ridiculous right-wing ideas floating around, maybe this would be a good time to explain just what socialism is, and examine whether or not the United States is a socialist country (or on the road to becoming a socialist country). The first thing that needs to be cleared up is that socialism, despite what many right-wing ideologues want you to believe, is NOT a form of government (like democracy, plutocracy, monarchy, dictatorship, etc.). It is an economic system. Further, it is an economic system that can only truly exist in a true democracy or a representative democracy.
First, let me define exactly what a socialism is. I will use the definition I learned back in college, because it is still the best definition I've heard. There are three aspects to socialism -- the socialist intent, the social safety net, and the government ownership of industry critical to the nation. To meet the definition of a "socialist nation", the "socialist intent" is required along with at least one of the other two aspects. So, does the United States meet this definition? Is it truly a socialist nation? Let's examine each of the three socialist aspects as they relate to the United States.
SOCIAL SAFETY NET
The United States has adopted at least a rudimentary social safety net, which tries to prevent any of its citizens from falling through the cracks of society into an abject and debilitating poverty. One of the oldest of the socialist programs in this country is free public education. Free public education has been a remarkably effective program, giving many a path to upward mobility and making this nation a leader in the world. The program is not without its problems these days (largely due to underfunding and community apathy), but I would venture to say that nearly all Americans approve of free public education and would not want it to go away.
Then there is Social Security. This program has brought us from a majority of the elderly living in poverty to less than 10% in poverty today. It has also been remarkably effective in achieving it purpose. Medicare is the same. Because of medicare, all people over the age of 65 now have a decent level of medical care. Polls have shown that a huge majority of Americans approve of these two programs and do not want them abolished -- even though they are socialist programs.
Another social safety net program is unemployment insurance. This prevents a worker who has lost his/her job through no fault of his/her own efforts, to have some income while looking for another job. Without the program, many of these workers would fall into poverty almost immediately. Again, this is a socialist program with large community support.
Then we have the programs designed to help the truly poor. Some of these people need help for only a short time (due to an economic or other tragedy in their life), while others may need help for the remainder of their life (because of some kind of disability). These are programs like Aid To Families With Dependent Children, Food Stamps, and Housing Assistance. There can be discussion over whether these programs work as well as they should, but only the hardest-hearted among us would want to abolish them altogether.
There may be other socialist safety net programs, but that is enough for this discussion. It is obvious that the United States has created and maintains the social safety net aspect of socialism. Whether it is inadequate, excessive, or at a correct level can be debated, but it is doubtful that most Americans would like to do without it.
OWNERSHIP OF CRITICAL INDUSTRY BY GOVERNMENT
This aspect doesn't need a lot of discussion. Our federal government does not own any industries -- critical or otherwise. Some state and local governments have assumed ownership of power plants or water suppies, but even most of these are owned by private interests. Critical industries, like the steel industry, are privately owned. And even in the huge military/industrial complex, which relies on government money to survive, production is controlled by and profits go to private owners. This aspect of socialism simply does not exist in the United States.
SOCIALIST INTENT
That leaves us with the final aspect of socialism -- the socialist intent (a requirement for a socialist nation). The socialist intent is to put individual citizens in charge of their own lives (including and especially economically). This would be true of the top 10% of Americans (and particularly the top 1%), but it is not true for the vast majority of the other 90% of Americans.
Most Americans are still at the mercy of corporations and businesses for their economic well-being, and they have little to no control over that. For a short while in this country, as unionism was growing, there was some movement toward this, but it has stopped. With the decline of unions and the rise of corporate power, the United States is actually moving away from putting individuals in charge of their own lives right now, and government policies like "trickle-down" economics has hastened this movement toward a corporate plutocracy (which is the exact opposite of the socialist intent).
The "socialist intent" has not been accomplished in the United States, and it is unlikely to be accomplished at any time in the near future. And the more this nation moves from a democracy to a plutocracy, the more it moves away from both the intent and reality of socialism.
CONCLUSION
Is the United States a socialist nation? No, it is not. While the United States democracy does have some socialist programs (programs that are popular even with Americans saying they abhor "socialism"), the United States is not a socialist democracy. It lacks both the government ownership of critical industry, and more importantly, the socialist intent.
Monday, August 13, 2012
The Noticing Game – (moving, sexy, fun)
The Noticing Game – (moving, sexy, fun)
And the time before that, we were both smiling so much our cheeks hurt…
It’s simple, easy, in-the-moment, and you can play it with your lover, a friend, on a date, or with someone you’ve just met.

Below is a description of the game, an excerpt from our Games Night Manual.
The full version, with lots of other connection-building games, is included for everyone who signs up for the ACL training.
Here it is:
———-
The Noticing Game
Requirements: 2 peopleWarning: You will both likely feel more present, playful, connected, and
perhaps even turned-on after playing this game.
Directions:
Two people stand directly across from each other, standing or sitting, making
eye contact. One person is A and the other is B. A goes first.
A: What I notice when I’m with you is…
B: Hearing that, what I’m noticing is…
A: Hearing that, what I’m noticing is…
B: Hearing that, what I’m noticing is…
…and so on, alternating back and forth…
…until you’re incapacitated with laughter, tears, or
find yourselves passionately making out…
…or, whenever seems like a good time to stop. It could be
2 minutes or 20 minutes… it’s up to you.
YOU CAN SHARE OBSERVATIONS, THOUGHTS, SENSATIONS, FEELINGS…
You can share ANYTHING you’re noticing inside this structure
of “A” and “B” going back and forth…
The other person’s physical appearance:
* ”…the smoothness of your skin”
* ”…the way your earrings jingle when you laugh”
* “…that you seem to be looking away a lot”
* ”…the gap between your front teeth when you smiled just then”
Sensations in your own body:
* ”…I’m feeling nervous tension in my chest”
* ”…I felt my shoulders relax when you smiled just now”
* ”…I’m feeling uncomfortable with this intense eye contact”
* ”…I felt giddy and turned-on when you said that”
Thoughts you’re having:
* ”…I’m thinking about when we first met”
* ”…I’m curious about how you got that scar on your forehead“
* ”…I’m wanting to reassure you that I don’t feel offended by your comment”
Emotions you’re feeling:
* ”…I’m scared that you’re upset that I pointed out the gap in your teeth”
* ”…I’m grateful that we’re getting to have this experience together”
* ”…I’m feeling frustrated that you keep breaking eye contact with me”
* ”…I’m excited that you noticed my earrings because I made them myself”
* ”…I’m feeling warmth in my chest and gratitude for you and for this moment”
* ”…I’m having fun playing this game!”
SOME NOTES ABOUT THIS GAME
* Be willing to take risks. The more vulnerable, edgy and unfiltered, the more exhilarating and engaging this game becomes. This includes sharing your nervousness, attraction and even frustration!
* Keep it in-the-moment. Don’t prepare what you might say – let it unfold organically, allow yourself to be surprised by what comes out of your mouth!
YOU CAN FACILITATE THIS GAME FOR A GROUP…
Last week I was at a birthday party where each attendee was asked to perform or share something (like a variety show). I facilitated this game for everyone there…and they loved it. Some people were deeply moved while others were laughing hysterically… it’s a great ice breaker!
Make sure to demo it in front of everyone first, then have them all pair up, choose an A and a B, and then run the game.
THIS IS PART OF A FULL-LENTH “GAMES NIGHT MANUAL”
This is an excerpt of the full-length “Authentic Relating Games Night Manual” –
previously unreleased, and only available for those in the ACL training.
—————–
Ok, so that’s the game. Keep this one in your back pocket to spice up a date, a dinner party, or when hanging out with a friend. Give it a try!
Let me know what you thought of this game in your comments below…
8 Reasons Young Americans Don't Fight Back: How the US Crushed Youth Resistance
8 Reasons Young Americans Don't Fight Back: How the US Crushed Youth Resistance
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Dees Illustration |
AlterNet
Traditionally, young people have energized democratic movements. So it is a major coup for the ruling elite to have created societal institutions that have subdued young Americans and broken their spirit of resistance to domination.
Young Americans—even more so than older Americans—appear to have acquiesced to the idea that the corporatocracy can completely screw them and that they are helpless to do anything about it. A 2010 Gallup poll asked Americans “Do you think the Social Security system will be able to pay you a benefit when you retire?” Among 18- to 34-years-olds, 76 percent of them said no. Yet despite their lack of confidence in the availability of Social Security for them, few have demanded it be shored up by more fairly payroll-taxing the wealthy; most appear resigned to having more money deducted from their paychecks for Social Security, even though they don’t believe it will be around to benefit them.
How exactly has American society subdued young Americans?
1. Student-Loan Debt. Large debt—and the fear it creates—is a pacifying force.
There was no tuition at the City University of New York when I attended one of its colleges in the 1970s, a time when tuition at many U.S. public universities was so affordable that it was easy to get a B.A. and even a graduate degree without accruing any student-loan debt. While those days are gone in the United States, public universities continue to be free in the Arab world and are either free or with very low fees in many countries throughout the world. The millions of young Iranians who risked getting shot to protest their disputed 2009 presidential election, the millions of young Egyptians who risked their lives earlier this year to eliminate Mubarak, and the millions of young Americans who demonstrated against the Vietnam War all had in common the absence of pacifying huge student-loan debt.
Today in the United States, two-thirds of graduating seniors at four-year colleges have student-loan debt, including over 62 percent of public university graduates. While average undergraduate debt is close to $25,000, I increasingly talk to college graduates with closer to $100,000 in student-loan debt. During the time in one’s life when it should be easiest to resist authority because one does not yet have family responsibilities, many young people worry about the cost of bucking authority, losing their job, and being unable to pay an ever-increasing debt. In a vicious cycle, student debt has a subduing effect on activism, and political passivity makes it more likely that students will accept such debt as a natural part of life.
2. Psychopathologizing and Medicating Noncompliance.
In 1955, Erich Fromm, the then widely respected anti-authoritarian leftist psychoanalyst, wrote, “Today the function of psychiatry, psychology and psychoanalysis threatens to become the tool in the manipulation of man.” Fromm died in 1980, the same year that an increasingly authoritarian America elected Ronald Reagan president, and an increasingly authoritarian American Psychiatric Association added to their diagnostic bible (then the DSM-III) disruptive mental disorders for children and teenagers such as the increasingly popular “oppositional defiant disorder” (ODD). The official symptoms of ODD include “often actively defies or refuses to comply with adult requests or rules,” “often argues with adults,” and “often deliberately does things to annoy other people.”
Many of America’s greatest activists including Saul Alinsky (1909–1972), the legendary organizer and author of Reveille for Radicals and Rules for Radicals, would today certainly be diagnosed with ODD and other disruptive disorders. Recalling his childhood, Alinsky said, “I never thought of walking on the grass until I saw a sign saying ‘Keep off the grass.’ Then I would stomp all over it.” Heavily tranquilizing antipsychotic drugs (e.g. Zyprexa and Risperdal) are now the highest grossing class of medication in the United States ($16 billion in 2010); a major reason for this, according to theJournal of the American Medical Association in 2010, is that many children receiving antipsychotic drugs have nonpsychotic diagnoses such as ODD or some other disruptive disorder (this especially true of Medicaid-covered pediatric patients).
3. Schools That Educate for Compliance and Not for Democracy.
Upon accepting the New York City Teacher of the Year Award on January 31, 1990, John Taylor Gatto upset many in attendance by stating: “The truth is that schools don’t really teach anything except how to obey orders. This is a great mystery to me because thousands of humane, caring people work in schools as teachers and aides and administrators, but the abstract logic of the institution overwhelms their individual contributions.” A generation ago, the problem of compulsory schooling as a vehicle for an authoritarian society was widely discussed, but as this problem has gotten worse, it is seldom discussed.
The nature of most classrooms, regardless of the subject matter, socializes students to be passive and directed by others, to follow orders, to take seriously the rewards and punishments of authorities, to pretend to care about things they don’t care about, and that they are impotent to affect their situation. A teacher can lecture about democracy, but schools are essentially undemocratic places, and so democracy is not what is instilled in students. Jonathan Kozol in The Night Is Dark and I Am Far from Home focused on how school breaks us from courageous actions. Kozol explains how our schools teach us a kind of “inert concern” in which “caring”—in and of itself and without risking the consequences of actual action—is considered “ethical.” School teaches us that we are “moral and mature” if we politely assert our concerns, but the essence of school—its demand for compliance—teaches us not to act in a friction-causing manner.
4. “No Child Left Behind” and “Race to the Top.”
The corporatocracy has figured out a way to make our already authoritarian schools even more authoritarian. Democrat-Republican bipartisanship has resulted in wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, NAFTA, the PATRIOT Act, the War on Drugs, the Wall Street bailout, and educational policies such as “No Child Left Behind” and “Race to the Top.” These policies are essentially standardized-testing tyranny that creates fear, which is antithetical to education for a democratic society. Fear forces students and teachers to constantly focus on the demands of test creators; it crushes curiosity, critical thinking, questioning authority, and challenging and resisting illegitimate authority. In a more democratic and less authoritarian society, one would evaluate the effectiveness of a teacher not by corporatocracy-sanctioned standardized tests but by asking students, parents, and a community if a teacher is inspiring students to be more curious, to read more, to learn independently, to enjoy thinking critically, to question authorities, and to challenge illegitimate authorities.
5. Shaming Young People Who Take Education—But Not Their Schooling—Seriously.
In a 2006 survey in the United States, it was found that 40 percent of children between first and third grade read every day, but by fourth grade, that rate declined to 29 percent. Despite the anti-educational impact of standard schools, children and their parents are increasingly propagandized to believe that disliking school means disliking learning. That was not always the case in the United States. Mark Twain famously said, “I never let my schooling get in the way of my education.” Toward the end of Twain’s life in 1900, only 6 percent of Americans graduated high school. Today, approximately 85 percent of Americans graduate high school, but this is good enough for Barack Obama who told us in 2009, “And dropping out of high school is no longer an option. It’s not just quitting on yourself, it’s quitting on your country.”
The more schooling Americans get, however, the more politically ignorant they are of America’s ongoing class war, and the more incapable they are of challenging the ruling class. In the 1880s and 1890s, American farmers with little or no schooling created a Populist movement that organized America’s largest-scale working people’s cooperative, formed a People’s Party that received 8 percent of the vote in 1892 presidential election, designed a “subtreasury” plan (that had it been implemented would have allowed easier credit for farmers and broke the power of large banks) and sent 40,000 lecturers across America to articulate it, and evidenced all kinds of sophisticated political ideas, strategies and tactics absent today from America’s well-schooled population. Today, Americans who lack college degrees are increasingly shamed as “losers”; however, Gore Vidal and George Carlin, two of America’s most astute and articulate critics of the corporatocracy, never went to college, and Carlin dropped out of school in the ninth grade.
6. The Normalization of Surveillance.
The fear of being surveilled makes a population easier to control. While the National Security Agency (NSA) has received publicity for monitoring American citizen’s email and phone conversations, and while employer surveillance has become increasingly common in the United States, young Americans have become increasingly acquiescent to corporatocracy surveillance because, beginning at a young age, surveillance is routine in their lives. Parents routinely check Web sites for their kid’s latest test grades and completed assignments, and just like employers, are monitoring their children’s computers and Facebook pages. Some parents use the GPS in their children’s cell phones to track their whereabouts, and other parents have video cameras in their homes. Increasingly, I talk with young people who lack the confidence that they can even pull off a party when their parents are out of town, and so how much confidence are they going to have about pulling off a democratic movement below the radar of authorities?
7. Television.
In 2009, the Nielsen Company reported that TV viewing in the United States is at an all-time high if one includes the following “three screens”: a television set, a laptop/personal computer, and a cell phone. American children average eight hours a day on TV, video games, movies, the Internet, cell phones, iPods, and other technologies (not including school-related use). Many progressives are concerned about the concentrated control of content by the corporate media, but the mere act of watching TV—regardless of the programming—is the primary pacifying agent (private-enterprise prisons have recognized that providing inmates with cable television can be a more economical method to keep them quiet and subdued than it would be to hire more guards).
Television is a dream come true for an authoritarian society: those with the most money own most of what people see; fear-based television programming makes people more afraid and distrustful of one another, which is good for the ruling elite who depend on a “divide and conquer” strategy; TV isolates people so they are not joining together to create resistance to authorities; and regardless of the programming, TV viewers’ brainwaves slow down, transforming them closer to a hypnotic state that makes it difficult to think critically. While playing a video games is not as zombifying as passively viewing TV, such games have become for many boys and young men their only experience of potency, and this “virtual potency” is certainly no threat to the ruling elite.
8. Fundamentalist Religion and Fundamentalist Consumerism.
American culture offers young Americans the “choices” of fundamentalist religion and fundamentalist consumerism. All varieties of fundamentalism narrow one’s focus and inhibit critical thinking. While some progressives are fond of calling fundamentalist religion the “opiate of the masses,” they too often neglect the pacifying nature of America’s other major fundamentalism. Fundamentalist consumerism pacifies young Americans in a variety of ways. Fundamentalist consumerism destroys self-reliance, creating people who feel completely dependent on others and who are thus more likely to turn over decision-making power to authorities, the precise mind-set that the ruling elite loves to see. A fundamentalist consumer culture legitimizes advertising, propaganda, and all kinds of manipulations, including lies; and when a society gives legitimacy to lies and manipulativeness, it destroys the capacity of people to trust one another and form democratic movements. Fundamentalist consumerism also promotes self-absorption, which makes it difficult for the solidarity necessary for democratic movements.
These are not the only aspects of our culture that are subduing young Americans and crushing their resistance to domination. The food-industrial complex has helped create an epidemic of childhood obesity, depression, and passivity. The prison-industrial complex keeps young anti-authoritarians “in line” (now by the fear that they may come before judges such as the two Pennsylvania ones who took $2.6 million from private-industry prisons to ensure that juveniles were incarcerated). As Ralph Waldo Emerson observed: “All our things are right and wrong together. The wave of evil washes all our institutions alike.”
Thursday, August 09, 2012
Great rant!
Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.
And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?
Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?
No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.
Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.
All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.
The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.
Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.
But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.
Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.
And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off.
http://www.fuckthesouth.com/
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
It's Not That It's Broken

Chris Sayer, Guest Writer
I often hear that our food system is broken. I disagree. It is working the way it was intended, only better. In fact, it is working so well that it has itself become the problem.
Our system of subsidies and incentives in food production evolved over decades, but it did so with a very clear primary goal: More calories, less cost. It is hard to find a better example of a system that has evolved so successfully to fulfill its original purpose. But like Mickey Mouse’s broomstick in The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, our food system seems to have taken on a life of its own. An interesting historical irony: One of the incentives for the cheap calories policy was the discovery at the dawn of World War Two that a large number of applicants for military service were underweight. Oh, how things have changed. One of the leading reasons for disqualification among modern recruits: obesity. The system has done all that we asked and more. Too much more.
Why has this system been so persistent? Often the blame is placed on large agribusiness. They play a role to be sure, but they are as much a byproduct as a cause. They didn’t create the system; the system created them. By rewarding high volume and low price, our current food system is built to favor economies of scale above all else. The more centralized and homogenized a producer becomes, the better they compete. They grow more successful, and in turn they encourage the system to cater to their strengths. And so the cycle continues.
But the resiliency of this system isn’t derived from its multi-billion dollar benefactors. It is the simplicity of its mandate. More calories, less cost. Just try to find a more concise mission statement.
Today, we recognize that the choices we make about the food we eat and the crops we grow have a wide variety of consequences, both for better and for worse. The complexity of a diversified and sustainable food system defies the artificial simplicity of the present. Food is about so much more than cheap calories. The production, distribution, and consumption of food touches our lives in hundreds of ways. The simple equation of more calories, less cost may have made for a good mission statement. But it hasn’t made for good food.
There are signs that the status quo is giving way. As it does, we had better prepare for a much more chaotic food system. Without the stabilizing effect of cheap calorie policies, differing priorities will have to battle it out. Price will remain a major factor, to be sure. But now it will have to compete on a more level field with other factors that consumer’s value. What will they choose? Organic? Local? Flavor? Convenience? When farmers have new opportunities to compete on something other than price, what will they come up with? New crops? Better flavor?
We are nearing the ending of a very stable era in American agriculture. Its successor will be noisy. It will be messy. And not everything is going to work perfectly.
But I can’t wait.
*Check out Sayer's latest e-book "Picking our Future: Essays on Food, Change and Farming." To thank you for being part of the network we are offering you a discount upon check out, simply type in "WY83E" and recieve $1 off AND another dollar will be donated to ROC for each book sold.
Chris Sayer was a 2007 ROC Fellow. A fifth generation Ventura County farmer, he grows avocados, citrus and figs.
Originally posted on Roots of Change.org at http://www.rootsofchange.org/content/its-not-its-broken
Monday, February 20, 2012
30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
- Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
- Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
- Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves. Read The Road Less Traveled
.
- Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
- Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
- Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
- Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
- Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
- Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive. But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
- Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else. Read Stumbling on Happiness
.
- Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
- Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
- Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
- Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
- Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
- Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself this: “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
- Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
- Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
- Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
- Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know in your heart is right.
- Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
- Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
- Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Read Getting Things Done
.
- Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary.
- Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
- Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
- Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile CAN change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus.
- Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
- Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
- Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.
Original Post: http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/11/30-things-to-stop-doing-to-yourself/
Photo by: Rob Brucker